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Dear Reader: Whether you’re negotiating your salary, meeting a new client or interviewing for a new job, reading the room is an important skill. How can you learn it?
Andrew Brodsky, a management professor at the University of Texas at Austin and author of “PING: The Secrets of Successful Virtual Communication,” said, “Effectively reading the room and engaging in impression management can make the difference between getting a promotion or landing a major contract versus losing out on most every work opportunity. For example, if you are meeting with a potential client and you don’t notice they’ve lost interest in a topic you’re talking about, the odds of you getting that deal are slim. Similarly, if you don’t realize your manager isn’t looking for feedback on an idea they’re presenting, yet you decide it is a good idea to criticize that idea during a meeting, you are unlikely to receive a positive evaluation from that manager.”
Important meetings can have even more gravitas when they’re online and it’s not as easy to read the room. Plus, there are limited hand gestures and body language to read; on the phone, there’s a lack of facial expressions. You may be focused on how you appear and may not notice how participants react.
Brodsky recommended asking for clarification instead of making assumptions. “If you can’t tell whether your coworker feels positively or not about a new initiative you proposed, explicitly ask them,” said Brodsky.
Whether you’re building and honing this skill in person or online, both mediums involve two steps. First, question your approach. Brodsky said, “This could be as simple as realizing within a current email interaction that email might not be the ideal mode, and asking the other person if they’d mind hopping on a quick phone call to resolve the issue.”
For the second step, get familiar with research on nonverbal behaviors. There are so many new cues that are used by people for interpreting information — from emojis to typos to what time of day a message is sent — that if you are trying to simply go on gut instinct, you won’t achieve ideal outcomes.”
If you need further specific directions, Brodsky suggested mimicry by using a similar tone, communication modes, nonverbal behavior and jargon; but don’t take it too far to copy everything the other person does — that could backfire and feel forced.
“For example, if they use exclamation marks or emojis, then you should too. Not only will this help you to be more attentive to your communication partner, but it will also help build trust with the other person, as research shows we are drawn to people who communicate similarly to us,” said Brodsky.
If you’ve ever watched “Hot Ones,” host Sean Evans is a proficient master at reading the room and mirroring behavior, in my opinion. In turn, it appears that he builds trust with celebrities and helps put them at ease as they venture into discomfort while eating spicy hot wings.
Similarly, you may want to identify leaders in your organization who are also adept at this skill so you can learn by observing.
Tribune News Service
